Communicating Today - Do’s and Don’ts

by Jane-Michele Clark

PDAs, cell phones, instant messaging, e-mail – they’re all supposed to make our lives easier, but is being constantly tethered to the outside world all that it’s cracked up to be? Over 75% of people surveyed echoed the sentiment one executive who answered, “No; technology is making us all crazier than ever!”

In the middle of the wedding vows, a cell phone started ringing. Guests looked askance at one another. Shock then settled on many faces as we realized the offending noise was coming from the bride’s suit pocket! Never would I have thought that “I do” would be delayed by a call from work.

PDAs, cell phones, instant messaging, e-mail – they’re all supposed to make our lives easier, but is being constantly tethered to the outside world all that it’s cracked up to be? Over 75% of people surveyed echoed the sentiment one executive who answered, “No; technology is making us all crazier than ever!”

Part of the reason is that too many people are using these tools without any real thought to how their messages will be received.

Here are some guidelines to bringing a little sanity back into our electronic communication:

1) Don’t hide behind e-mail when a face-to-face encounter is needed. The two worst e-mails I’ve heard of: a) My friend received one from her brother first thing Monday at work that read: “Mom died. Call me.” and b) “Changed my mind about getting married. I’ll call you some time.” In the last instance, she was better off without someone like that, but what a way to find out!

Under the “What a way to find out category!”, comes the message RadioShack Corp. sent to about 400 employees at its Fort Worth headquarters saying, “The work force reduction notification is currently in progress. Unfortunately your position is one that has been eliminated." Even worse, was the recall of a Canadian Ambassador. His staff members were copied on the same e-mail and many heard the news ahead of the ambassador.

2) There are times when the phone is faster – much faster. Setting a meeting time, for instance. Or when you are looking for information that requires a little discussion, or a reply that will be more than a sentence or two long.

Hint: If an e-mail on a subject has ping-pinged back and forth between two people more than three times without the matter being resolved, it should be a clue that a discussion is required. A human-to-human real talk where questions can be asked, and tone can be heard.

3) Be polite, even overly so. If your words can be interpreted in more than one way, make sure that they will be received as intended. Remember, the only tone the reader hears is the one in his or her own head. Just think of the numerous ways you can say, “That’s great!” and you’ll see what I mean.

An experiment conducted in May 2010 of +1,000 people, showed that in over 60% of text messages, the recipient read the message with a tone that was very different than the one used by the sender.

4) Do start your e-mail with a salutation; do end it properly. This applies to messages sent from Blackberries, laptops and all other devices. Thank you, cheers, anything appropriate followed by your name or initials. Not including these “niceties” is the equivalent of not saying hello at the beginning of a phone call and hanging up without saying good-bye. It’s also #7 on the Executive Pet Peeve list.

5) When in doubt, ask questions – nicely. Again, because you can’t hear “tone”, you might accidentally assume things that were never intended. Before you accidentally start a war, get clarification. In most instances, you’ll find the person wasn’t being mean – or whatever else you inferred. Case in point: I met a woman through the on-line Canada-Australian on-line trade delegation. Her e-mails used to irk me (and then some). It got to the point where I hated seeing her name in my Inbox. Then we had a phone conversation. When I realized that English was not her first language, everything suddenly became clear. Turns out she’s a great person – just a little shy and not great in English. Was I ever glad that I never deviated from “professional” – no matter how uptight I had allowed myself to get.

6) Just because you can copy everyone, don’t. Be considerate of other people’s time. If they don’t need to know, don’t waste their time. If you do need to copy people simply as an f.y.i. – make sure the subject line lets them know this. Which leads to…

7) Use the subject line wisely. Too often people just hit reply and don’t bother to change the subject line. Write the message in a way that will let the recipient know what it’s about immediately, whether it needs to be read, responded to or simply filed. It will also help you to retrieve it again later.

8) Never use e-mail to convey personal information. You never know where your e-mail will end up or who will read it.

9) Always check your list of destination mailboxes before hitting send. “Reply all” has resulted in the issuance of more than one pink slip. An oft-circulated story that may well be an urban legend illustrates this point well: An employee read a general e-mail from the boss and found it insulting. In the heat of the moment she fired off an angry comment to her colleague that ended, “Does she think we’re stupid?” A few minutes later she received a second e-mail from her boss that simply said, “Yes, I do.” I can only imagine what became of the e-mailer’s career.

10) Think twice before hitting send. Even better, set your options so that you actually have to hit the “Send and Receive” button to send an e-mail. The extra few moments can make all the difference in the world.

11) Spell check and proofread. No, it’s no more okay to have typos in your e-mail than it is to have spots on your tie. The occasional mess-up can be overlooked, but if it’s the norm, you will be viewed as sloppy, careless and unprofessional.

Also, don’t use text short forms when writing sending an e-mail communication.

12) Watch the type of messages delivered via e-mail. Good e-mail uses include:
- confirming or changing appointments
- introducing someone to a well-known associate, as a follow-up to a phone call
- issuing simple instructions or requests
- sending reminders re deadlines, things requiring follow-ups, etc.
- forwarding documents
- letting people know you’ll be away and who to contact in your absence.
- suggesting a topic/idea to be explored with a colleague
- minor announcements (office closures, birth, press releases, etc.)

Not so great uses:
- introducing yourself (most people delete mail from unknown recipients)
- major announcements and changes (strategy, mergers, reorgs, policy changes, etc.)
- long discussions about strategy, product development, etc.(if you must – then write a short e-mail message and attach a proper document)


13) PDAs should be off when you’re with someone. When you read an e-mail from one person while meeting with someone else, you are saying, “This is more important than you.” It’s dismissive and ranks #3 on the Executive Pet Peeve list.

14) Similarly, cell phones should be off, or on silent when… well, you know when.

Not one of these suggestions is a big thing – but they can make a big difference in how you are perceived and how well people respond to your communications. So be polite and productive and get promoted!


Copyright @2010 Jane-Michèle Clark. All rights reserved.


Jane-Michèle Clark is president of The Q Group ( www.theQgroup.com ), a strategic positioning and marketing communications firm that has worked with many blue chip companies over the past 30 years. In addition to being seasoned business strategist and marketing expert, Jane-Michèle also teaches MBA level marketing at the top-ranked Schulich School of Business York University). Jane-Michèle is also a corporate trainer and speaker and 9-time nominee for the RBC Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award.

Jane-Michèle can be reached at jmc@theQgroup. or by calling 416-424-6644.


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