“When You are Going Through Hell, Keep Going.”

By Jane-Michèle Clark

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” ~ Unknown

When our lives, or those of our loved ones, are on the line it’s relatively easy to draw on our inner reserves and face any number of horrible things. But what about those moments when you realize there are more days left in the month than money? When your teenage kids are flexing their independence muscles while heaping on a healthy dose of attitude and hormones? Or when you are shouldering a heavy load all alone? Those are the times when you need the most courage. So how can you tap into those inner reserves and keep on keeping on?

I find it easiest to find that courage if I first give myself permission to give up …for a moment. I’ll ask my kids for a hug, call a friend, eat a really big chocolate bar, or do something else that tells my brain that it’s okay to relax the stiff upper lip. Then I find a way to have a little laugh. The short break and the laughter help restore a more positive perspective, making it easier to focus on the benefits of the completed project, rather than dwelling on the difficulties crossing the path leading to its completion.

And that really is key. The more vividly you can see the goal line, the easier it will be to find the inner resolve to keep on keeping on. Write down all the benefits of continuing your efforts. Read and re-read this list when you are feeling discouraged. Remind yourself of all the things that you would lose by giving up. Then image the joy, relief, sense of accomplish and pride that you feel when you have succeeded. I imagine this post-game feeling with as much intensity as I can muster, then square my shoulders and carry on.

Paradoxically, “carrying on” is the second key to finding the inner courage to carry on. By continuing to take action, no matter how small the deed, you won’t lose your forward momentum. It’s almost impossible to get yourself back on track if you come to a complete standstill when your courage reserves are low, so keep moving.

The good news is that by having first refocused your thoughts, you will have restored some of the inner energy that carries courage in its wake – and you will be able to take one more step before calling it a day.

Here are thoughts from ordinary people who carry on when times are tough:

“I go home early so that I can have the house to myself and crawl into bed, pull up the covers and cry. I usually fall asleep and when I get up, I shake it off with the covers and carry on. Facing up to the fear builds up stress. Crying releases that tension and I feel like I can tackle anything. My wife says it’s the nap that helps; I think it’s the tears, even though I would never admit to that in the change room.” ~ Anonymous, TX

”I often express my gratitude to the universe for the good things I my life. When times are tough, I find that prayer can be a big comfort and give me enough strength to get out of bed again the next day.” ~ Chris Y., AB

“When things are really bad and I just want to give up permanently, I think about my kids and wonder who’ll watch out for them and know that I have to find a way to make it work.” ~ Jay M., NY

“I sit and figure out the first 5 things I’m going to do after I get to work, and the first 5 things I’m going to do when I get home. The planning helps still my panic.” ~ Jerry P., BC

“There are times when I feel [like] I can’t take any more. Those are the nights I go to sleep early and think about all the good things I have in my life before drifting off to sleep.” ~ Sally G., MI

“When I feel like I’m running out of steam and find hear the word failure working its way through my thoughts, I make myself do one more thing before going home, any one thing at all. That way, if I start having doubts on the drive home I can think about the one thing I did after I thought I could do any more and I know I will be able to do at least one more thing tomorrow.” TJ P., NY, NY

And from one extraordinary man:

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” ~ Winston Churchill


Copyright @2005 Jane-Michèle Clark. All rights reserved.


Jane-Michèle Clark is president of The Q Group ( www.theQgroup.com ), a strategic positioning and marketing communications firm that has worked with many blue chip companies over the past 30 years. In addition to being seasoned business strategist and marketing expert, Jane-Michèle also teaches MBA level marketing at the top-ranked Schulich School of Business York University). Jane-Michèle is also a corporate trainer and speaker and 9-time nominee for the RBC Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award.

Jane-Michèle can be reached at jmc@theQgroup. or by calling 416-424-6644.


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