What the Heck, Take a Step!

By Jane-Michèle Clark

One way or another fear can wreak more havoc than many other things because it’s devious. It’s truly sneaky, finding myriad manners to manifest itself. A lot of business owners over the years, especially women, in the early days of their new businesses have told me that their self talk is more destructive that just about anything anyone else can do to them.

All too often the little voice asks, “But will they listen to me?” “Will they say yes?” For some, the self doubt is even more insidious, taking the form of questions such as, “Why should they listen to me; I haven’t been working very long?” And, “Why would they hire me when I have so little experience? And, “I haven’t worked with a lot of clients and not only am I unknown, I’m unproven.”

To my surprise, my research showed that men are just as afraid about we women of being rejected and of looking foolish. In some ways they’ve got it harder, because our society always expects men to be brave. To tough it out and carry on.

So what do we do about this little voice? If you listen to its chatter, it will wear you down faster than chalk being dragged over concrete. When you hear those thoughts, or you’re scared to try something (or when the telephone receiver can’t be lifted because it suddenly weighs 1,000 lbs.), remember this chant. It’s one that Jack Canfield taught me years ago – a chant that always works to center me and give me a smile before getting on with the task. The only trick is to remember to do the chant. And what is it you might ask? It’s…wait for it… It’s “Oh what the heck, go for it anyhow!

Going for it “anyway: is really important. Louis E. Boone says, “Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”

You need to take that first step, make that first call, because as soon as you start taking action, the easier it is to go on. Also, the more you do something, the more familiar it seems and the less frightening it becomes. The proverbial comfort zone is not a static thing. When someone says that’s not within my comfort one, what they are really saying is that they are not willing to do anything different to improve their current situation. It’s a decision, not an immutable condition.

Think about it. When you first learned to drive, it’s likely you were most comfortable on the quiet side streets and that the thought of leaving that comfort zone to go out on the highway was enough to make your heart beat faster – and not in a good way! If you’re like the rest of us, the first time you actually merged into all that fast-moving traffic, you probably held your breath and tried not to pee your pants… and the further you pressed your pedal to the metal in an effort to get your speed up to the limit, the more scared you felt. But you didn’t eschew all highways because of the fear you felt that first time. If you had you would never have learned to drive on the highway and your driving destinations would have been severely limited. Just as the possibilities in your own life get severely constrained if you can go beyond where you’ve always been.

Brian Tracy writes, “If you do not do the thing you fear, the fear controls your life.” Imagine where you would have been (or not been and gone) had you been too afraid to learn to drive, or to try to go out on the highway. And think of how much easier and more fun your life has been so far because you took action in spite of the fear.

Today you think nothing about driving at speed; in fact, the bigger challenge is not to go too far over the speed limit. The comfort zone got bigger and changed shape as you pushed against the boundaries – and just like a pair of shoes, once stretched, there’s no way of getting things back to their original state. And funnily enough, you don’t really want to restore the original order, because the stretched one now feels so much more comfortable.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, Social Activist and Former First Lady

Copyright @2005-2010 Jane-Michèle Clark. All rights reserved.


Jane-Michèle Clark is president of The Q Group ( www.theQgroup.com ), a strategic positioning and marketing communications firm that has worked with many blue chip companies over the past 30 years. In addition to being seasoned business strategist and marketing expert, Jane-Michèle also teaches MBA level marketing at the top-ranked Schulich School of Business York University). Jane-Michèle is also a corporate trainer and speaker and 9-time nominee for the RBC Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award.

Jane-Michèle can be reached at jmc@theQgroup. or by calling 416-424-6644.


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